Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
