Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You're like the curious george of whores
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
