can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
