Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
