My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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