I wish I could teleport
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
They took my balls.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
