You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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