Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize