Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize