No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
