We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Brb crying the tears of my youth
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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