Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
