I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize