And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
