took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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