I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
