don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
