I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You dont lie about slip and slides
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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