I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
