dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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