I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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