i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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