life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Your cock deserves a montage
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
