you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
