I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize