I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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