What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
