Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
