I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
