I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
