The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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