This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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