so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
