Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
