I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
