Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
