we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
two words...techno handjob
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
