When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
