i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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