I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I have fence marks all over my body
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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