mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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