i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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