I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
whose ass print is on the piano?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
