And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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