she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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