He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
