We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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