How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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