you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
