my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize