Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He did a backflip because drugs
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
