So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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