Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
They are going to name an STD after you.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
