I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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