Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
