She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
