Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
this just has baby written all over it
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
