tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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